She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
