As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
