I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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