apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
