I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
