If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize