she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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