Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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