New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
