Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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