are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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