i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize