The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize