maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
