it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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