I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize