I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
