I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
