take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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