i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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