Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
