you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Blood and glitter go together right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
