HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize