if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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