my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize