Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
