So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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