I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
