Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
