All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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