I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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