He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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