I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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