I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
