I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize