I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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