Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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