i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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