I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
