Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
