Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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