He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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