i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
