Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
