I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
