Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
