we have officially lost it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
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I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need water and some morals
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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