I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
