I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i've created a new STD.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
