Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
