Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
