Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
