So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
