She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I want her autograph on my taint
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
