fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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