i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
