The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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