Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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