remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
