So drunk its hurt
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
