My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
