How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
