So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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