if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
