am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
