She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
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You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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